Karmel Knocking Around up Schitt’s Creek and down Niagara Falls

Canada is not a far drive, we’ve driven a lot further. And there are two points of interest that we had wanted to venture to – Niagara Falls, which is real, and Schitt’s Creek, which is partially real but not really real? Get it?

Having been to Niagara Falls in the past, my memories go back to experiencing it with my parents and staying at the old roadside motel…similar to the Rosebud Motel in Schitt’s Creek. Melissa found one that was about 10 minutes from the Falls right on the main drag of Lundy’s Lane. The Blue Moon Motel was cute and clean, a real throwback. But it definitely could use some TLC.

The rest of Lundy’s Lane, from the Blue Moon down to Clinton Hill was filled with the usual tourist traps, fast food franchises, and quite a few sex shops. Well, it IS the Honeymoon Capital of the World, right? It all just seemed a little grungy. Until you got to the area near the Falls. Then it was a beautiful area, wonderfully landscaped with a botanical garden nestled in near the Niagara Power Station, and the magnificent view of Niagara Falls.

We had been traveling all day and didn’t stop to eat. We had our usual “go to” Bobo’s PB&Js for lunch and other Bobo’s treats for snacks along the way.

We found The Flying Saucer right on Lundy’s Lane…great décor…perfect for families…but the food was God awful. My sandwich…I don’t know WHAT the hell it was and I am actually afraid to confirm what I consumed. All I know is, it said it was a three cheese panini with eggplant and roasted peppers. I don’t eat cheese…except on pizza. So I asked the server if I could get the panini without the cheese…only with the eggplant (one of my favorite foods) and the peppers. I had heard her tell the next table that all food was “made to order.” However, she then told me that while she could do the sandwich with no cheese, I couldn’t get extra eggplant because all of the orders are pre-portioned. OK, well what the hell does that mean and why does it make a difference? Why can’t you just put a second portion on the sandwich? That’s not allowed? I thought the food was “made to order.” I don’t get it. And I don’t know what I got. It didn’t look like eggplant. It didn’t feel like eggplant. It didn’t TASTE like eggplant. The food was God awful. Did I say that already?

We awoke early and checked out of our honeymoon suite so that we could get to the Falls early. We had a 10 a.m. reservation time at Journey Behind the Falls and we were concerned about parking. The lots fill up pretty quickly and we also were aware of the expected thunderstorms coming into the area.

We grabbed breakfast at a local mom and pop place, also on Lundy’s Lane, Scoops. They had a long list of “Benny’s” and while appealing, most of them had some kind of meat included…and the heavy hollandaise sauce. I stuck with the safe bet, cinnamon French toast with eggs while Melissa got an eggs with breakfast potatoes. Usually we share the potatoes but the potatoes smelled and tasted like meat…so they had to have been grilled on the same grill as the bacon and sausage or actually with it. So there were no potatoes for me. And as I always question, why are you cooking EVERYTHING on something that you cooked meat on? Great menu…super service…inconsiderate food prep.

When we got to Niagara Falls, the Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side, Melissa was fascinated. While I had been to the Falls a few times prior, this was her first time. There was a power outage at the Visitor Center so it was closed when we arrived at 9 a.m. We spent some time getting some great views and pictures of the Falls while we waited to be able to enter.

Ya know…I was thinking…how does a place just steps away from the Niagara Power Station actually lose power? There had been storms overnight and, according to the Center’s manager who was greeting people at the door, there had been no power since 5 a.m. But again, you are steps away from one of the world’s largest suppliers of power and you have no lights?

Most people do the famous Maid of the Mist boat ride which takes you to the base of the Falls. While Melissa is great with heights and hanging on the edge of cliffs, she is deathly afraid of water. And the rough waters and tilting of the boat had her leery about a possible capsizing. So we did Journey Behind the Falls instead.

The Center regained power and opened in time for our 10 a.m. reservation. Thankfully we were in before the throngs of people made a mad dash to get to the cue that brings you to an elevator. That elevator takes you down 125 feet and then you walk through a couple of tunnels to see a view of the Falls from the bottom, and the back of the Falls from within the rocks. The view from the bottom is even more breathtaking than the view from the top. And while you might catch a bit of the mist at the top, you get kind of drenched when you are at the bottom. Hence, the blue ponchos they give you.

Melissa couldn’t stop raving about the view from the bottom of the Falls. In fact, we ended up going back for a second look before we headed back up the elevator and began our journey to Schitt’s Creek.

Schitt’s Creek was filmed at multiple locations in and about the Toronto area. The interior scenes were mostly accomplished at various soundstages in Toronto. But the small town that posed as Schitt’s Creek is the small community of Goodwood, 45 minutes north of Toronto.

We made the drive north to Toronto through Hamilton with a stop for lunch at The Olive Board in Grimsby along Casablanca Beach. It’s a charcuterie and wine bar. It’s upscale with upscale prices. The service was also upscale but the food and wine were downscale. Melissa had prosciutto and goat cheese flat bread. I had grilled salmon salad. It wasn’t great.

Our stay in Toronto for the next two nights was at the Hilton Tru near the airport…only because there was nothing else around for under $350 a night. Prices were quite high everywhere. After waiting out a huge thunderstorm, we ventured out to see downtown Toronto and find a place for dinner.

We drove through sections of the city and saw some nice old homes mixed in with some modern structures that obviously replaced “tear downs” in the area. We had noticed that there were a LOT of high rises along the highway as we were approaching the city. Toronto has about three million people so there is a lot of housing in the area. But the majority of the high rises seem to be on the outskirts of the city while there are the older, smaller housing structures in the center.

We had thoughts about parking the car and walking around an area called Kensington Market. But even though it had an eclectic look to it as we drove through, it also looked like a shanty town. Most of the places of business actually looked like they were falling apart. It felt more like meandering through an old flea market. We’ll pass.

We searched for Little Italy…we made three loops around to see nothing that actually resembled a “Little Italy.” Then we went through “Chinatown” and all we saw were a strip of businesses with Chinese lettering, nothing that appeared to be a slew of restaurants to choose from. Maybe we missed something? We ended up at The Fourth Man in the Fire…a pizza place slash donut shop. I didn’t get it. Apparently the name is some kind of biblical reference…much like the Johnny Cash song. I understand Johnny Cash referencing it in song, I don’t understand the reference with regard to pizza and donuts.

We love to sample and get a feel for “local.” We want to experience local cuisines. We did that in Israel. Loved it. We did that in Greece. Loved that too. Now we are in Canada. What’s the local cuisine? Apparently, Canadians hang their hats on two things – poutine and Tim Hortons.

What IS poutine? Poutine is a Canadian dish of French fries covered in cheese curds and gravy. It originated in the 1950’s in rural Quebec and the popularity spread across Canada in the 1990’s. Much like buffalo wings in the U.S. Today, it is presented as a “symbol of Canadian cuisine and culture” and can be found in fast food chains and fine dining restaurants. And what are cheese curds exactly? Cheese curds are fresh, bite-sized pieces of unaged cheese that separate from the whey during the cheesemaking process. They are known for their springy texture, mild flavor, and the squeak they make when you bite into them. Squeak? NONE of this sounds even remotely appetizing.

Then there is the fascination with Tim Hortons. I don’t know why I never took notice of any of the Tim Hortons in the US, there are actually a few within miles of where we live. It’s probably because it was earmarked as a fast food establishment and we just tend to drive by those places. But when we saw that it was the place Canadians flock to for meals…when in Rome…ya know. So we found a stand alone Tim Hortons for breakfast.

The appearance, and the menu, was nothing more than a McDonald’s combined with Dunkin Donuts. The menu was almost straight off the McDonald’s breakfast menu minus the “Mc” in front of each item. And the case of donuts looked like it had just been plucked right out of a neighboring Dunkin Donuts. The first thing I thought of was the movie Coming to America with Eddie Murphy going to work at McDowell’s, an obvious rip-off of McDonald’s.

Now…for anyone who thinks I might not be open-minded…I have tried all kinds of cuisines in all of our travels and I especially seek out the local mom and pop old-time establishments for the exact reason that I WANT that local experience. THAT is what we both intentionally seek out. Telling me that there are so many cultures in Toronto that can be explored…like Italian and Chinese…is ridiculous. I LOVE Italian, but I can go straight to Italy to experience Italian or get it right at home. Same as Chinese food…love the cuisine…but I can go straight to China or get that, too, right at home. That goes for Japanese, Thai, Mediterranean, Indian, Russian, Georgian…get the picture? We wanted Canadian cuisine. Apparently it’s just an extension of the American way….fast food restaurants and disco fries. At least the country along the southern border has a legitimate cuisine of its own.

The fictional town of Schitt’s Creek is actually in Goodwood, Ontario.

We were excited to go see Schitt’s Creek…I mean Goodwood, about a 45-minute ride from Toronto. The town, which is actually a part of the town of Uxbridge, is small with a population of about 600 people. The majority of the buildings seen in the show were on one particular street in town which is Front Street on one side of Route 47 and Concession 3 Road on the other.

As you enter the town limits from Route 47, you will come upon a main intersection with a traffic light where three of the prominent locations are for the town of Schitt’s Creek – Rose Apothecary, Café Tropical, and, of course, Bob’s Garage.

Down the block on Front Street, on the same side of Route 47 as Bob’s Garage is Ronnie’s home and the Town Hall. The Town Hall is now a private residence and signs make it clear that trespassers aren’t welcome. Although, one would hope that people would be respectful regardless but we have seen so many people who have no understanding of boundaries.

In the other direction, down the block on Concession 3 Road, and a short walk from the Café Tropical and Rose Apothecary, is the home of Jocelyn and Roland Schitt. The only thing different from the show is the name on the sign in front of the house. Ray’s place is a few steps passed the Schitt’s residence.

The building that portrayed Café Tropical is actually an apartment building with tenants upstairs. The front part of the downstairs was fitted out by the production team during the months of filming.

Rose Apothecary was actually a yarn store during the run of the show and was sectioned off for the crew to film some interior shots. The store was put on the market but the owners decided to keep it in the family and the owner’s son and his wife have taken it over and are actively remodeling and re-branding it. The counter and cash register remain from the show as it was used by David and Patrick.

Unfortunately, the exteriors are without the signage seen on the show. And the most important star of the show…the Rosebud Motel…is actually 45 miles away in Mono , Ontario near Hockley.

We got on the highway to head to Mono and we were eventually off the highway on a winding residential road when…BANG…there it was. Because of the landscaping along the road, if you aren’t looking for it, you can possibly miss it. But it was right there…nobody else was there…just us. My first thought was, “Why is there a motel out here in the middle of nowhere?”

With the exception of the missing sign, and absence of the rickett plastic chairs, it looked exactly as seen on the show. The place is abandoned but the property it sits on is extremely well-maintained. Research indicates that someone has actually purchased the property and is seeking to renovate it and make it a Schitt’s Creek-themed motel. That would be great.

The fascinating aspect of seeing the locations was thinking about how the shots were filmed…framed in such a way…to capture just what was needed and nothing more. So when you go back and look at the show after, which we did, you can see how the cameras were angled in such a way to create the image that is wanted and needed. I’m constantly saying “it’s all about the framing” when Melissa and I are setting up a picture.

There was one more stop we wanted to make and that was the spot where Patrick proposed to David. That was 35 miles away at Rattlesnake Point Conservation Area in Milton, Ontario. We took the back roads and passed through some nice little towns along the way. Rattlesnake Point is smack in the middle of a residential area and the information about the trails was confusing and sketchy. It was toward the end of the day and the skies were getting dark with rain clouds. We wanted to get in a hike, but we spent quite a bit of time looking up exactly where the spot was located.

Eventually, we discovered THE SPOT was about a five-minute walk from where we were parked in the lower parking lot. So we got ourselves together and began our way up the trail. And it began to rain. It started out slow. We made our way up the trail past the Nassagaweya Canyon Lookout and witnessed a beautiful view of the city of Toronto and Lake Ontario. And as soon as we got near where Patrick put his knee down, Alan put his…umbrella up as the skies opened and we got slammed with rain.

The rain was torrential and it was tough going on our way back down to the parking lot. It’s a good thing we were equipped with our Merrell Moab 3 to sure up our footing on the slippery slope. The parking lot was a lake by the time we reached the car.

We headed back to the hotel, changed into dry clothes, and made one last ditch effort for a good meal for dinner. Melissa found Harpers Landing 20 miles away in the town of Oakville. I ended up having fish tacos with jicama slaw which were actually pretty damn good, probably because I like jicama…and Melissa had some kind of meat. And we shared a local beer that was a fruity pineapple. Eh…nothing to run back to Canada for.

The next morning we bolted early so we could take our time driving back, but also so we could make a stop at Anchor Bar in Buffalo, home of the original buffalo wing. We left the hotel by 8:15, after I had the free breakfast downstairs – a bowl of Fruit Loops. It just keeps getting better and better. We were concerned that we were going to get to the Anchor Bar before it opened at 11 a.m. Those fears were allayed when we hit a little bit of traffic heading back to Niagara Falls and then had to wait at customs just over an hour after getting over the Rainbow Bridge.

We made it to the Anchor Bar a little after 12…lunchtime. Melissa ordered a combination of a roast beef sandwich and their famous wings. I wanted to still try their sauce but they had no non-meat offerings like buffalo shrimp or buffalo cauliflower. They DID have a veggie burger so I got that with their signature sauce on it. The signature sauce lived up to the reputation. It’s a shame I had it on the burger…that was awful. Just par for the course.

Melissa as we are heading to USA customs: You know I really wanted a Canada sweatshirt. Now…I have zero interest. Oh Canadaaaaaaa….